It's been 2 years...

Wow, it's been 2 years since I've been on here... Crazy. Well I'm back! I'm revamping my life. I need a mental & physical make over. I am a HOT MESS! I leave for the beach in 175 days, lets see what we can do in that short of time!

Me.

"Stronger Than Ever"

by Christina Aguilera

What you gave me I know you gave me
You remind me all the time
And how you hurt me and you don't see it
Again I am the child

And though you tell me that you love me
I can't feel it and I'm afraid to let you down
It's all or nothing, I fear that something's wrong

I'm tired of walking on eggshells so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I've abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you push me away
I'm stronger than ever, you made me this way

Mmmh..How I wish you, you suffered less too
It tears us both apart
And it's not pretty the way you criticize me
And how it breaks my heart

And though you tell me that you love me
I can't feel it and I'm afraid to let you down
It's all or nothing, I fear that something's wrong

I'm tired of walking on eggshells so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I've abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you push me away
I'm stronger than ever, you made me this way

How I wish you knew, how much I need you
I feel like running but I can't abandon you
You avoid my gaze, withdraw from me these days
You punish me for trying to be all that you wanted
What more can I do?

I'm tired of walking on eggshells so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I've abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you push me away
I'm stronger than ever, you made me this way

I'm tired of walking on eggshells so terrified to fail
And in order to please you I've abandoned myself
And though it used to hurt me when you push me away

I'm stronger than ever, you made me this way.

This is me.

Publish Post

Marriage

"The Art Of Marriage"
by Wilferd A. Peterson (longer version)
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage the little things are the big things... It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner. It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best. - by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Runaway

"Runaway"

I've got my things packed

My favorite pillow
Got my sleeping bag
Climb out the window
All the pictures and pain
I left behind
All the freedom and fame
I've gotta find
And I wonder
How long it'll take them to notice that I'm gone
And I wonder
How far it'll take me

To run away
Life don't make any sense to me
Run away
This life makes no sense to me
Run away
Life don't make any sense to me
Run away
Life don't make any sense to me

I was just trying to be myself
You go your way I'll meet you in hell
It's all these secrets that I shouldn't tell I've got to run away
It's hypocritical of you
Do as you say not as you do
I'll never be your perfect girl
I've got to run away

I'm too young to be
Taken seriously
But I'm too old to believe
All this hypocrisy
And I wonder
How long it'll take them to see my bed is made
And I wonder
If I was a mistake

I might have nowhere left to go
But I know that I cannot go home
These words are strapped inside my head
Tell me to run before I'm dead
Chase the rainbows in my mind
And I will try to stay alive
Maybe the world will know one day
Why won't you help me run away

Life don't make any sense to me
Run away
This life makes no sense to me
Run away

I could sing for change
On a Paris street
Be a red light dancer
In New Orleans
I could start again
Choose a family
I could change my name
Come and go as I please
In the dead of night
You'll wonder where I've gone
Wasn't it you
Wasn't it you
Wasn't it you that made me run away

I was just trying to be myself
You go your way I'll meet you in hell
All these secrets that I shouldn't tell I've got to run away
It's hypocritical of you
Do as you say not as you do
Never be your perfect girl
I've got to run away

Life don't make any sense to me
Run away
This life makes no sense to me
Run away
Life don't make any sense to me
Run away
Life don't make any sense to me

This life makes no sense to me
It don't make no sense to me
It don't make any sense to me
Life don't make any sense to me

* I love PINK

It is what it is.

Being Human,

I am entitled to the following rights~
I have the right to make many (sometimes huge) mistakes~
I have the right to learn from my mistakes and then move on with my life~
I have the right to forgive myself~
I have the right to laugh until it hurts and cry until it stops hurting~
I have the right to live my life as I choose~
I have the right to happiness~
I have the right to my own beliefs~
I have the right to true friends and true love~
I have the right to be loved by others~
I have the right to be loved by me~
~Author Unknown~

Hands what a FABULOUS perspective

I received this in a forwarded email and it really made me think a couple of months ago. I've always been very self cautious about my hands, I've always hated them and have always wore acrylic nails because I hate the way my hands & fingers look. After seeing this photo and reading the story, I began to take another look at my hands. Maybe they aren't so bad considering the things they done. The hands in the photo are not mine or my families, nor do I know who it is, this was just another forwarded email.

GRAMA'S HANDS

I was privileged to take a photo of' Five Generations of Women' shortly before my 93 year-old Grandmother passed away last year. The photo, shown below, features the hands of my Grandmother, Mom, Sister, Niece and Great-Niece. While I can't take credit for the idea, I was so happy to have had the suggestion & capture this moment. It inspired a friend of mine to do something similar, which turned out so beautiful it became a special keepsake, prior to her father's passing.

Grandma' s Hands

GRANDMA'S HANDS A must read thru it to the end please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear voice strong.

I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I explained to her.

'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked... 'I mean really looked at your hands?'

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

'Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

'They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

'They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

'They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

'These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.

But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ.'

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

___________________________________________________________

http://clk.atdmt.com/GBL/go/210850553/direct/01/

Frustration with myself.

So the past few days have been a nightmare when it comes to eating, I have eaten everything, it's so bad I can't even bring myself to write to down. I've eaten cookies, wings, Chinese. I'm so disappointed in myself. I just want to cry, but that won't fix anything. So Today I'm starting over. My new rules.... I must up be 7:30, I must eat breakfast, & no eating late, or in the mall. I have to STOP eating when I'm at work. I Hate the Mall.... it's the DEVIL!